Don't Hold Back
by TheFoxPack
Summary: Ikkaku spars with Rukia, telling her not to hold back. So she doesn't, but it has disastrous consequences for Ikkaku.


A/n: We own nothing. This is a collaborative effort with myself (TheDrunkenWerewolf), SesshomaruFreak, and Timewaster123456789. We hope ya'll enjoy and will leave us nice comments :)

 **Don't hold back**

It was supposed to be a harmless sparring session. The third seat of the eleventh had wanted to spar against an ice zanpakuto. He had demanded that she not hold back, that she come at him with everything. She had done as asked and used every technique she knew.

She hadn't held back.

She looked up at Matsumuto with fear in her eyes, her hands still on the unconscious shinigami as blood dripped from his mouth. The rest of the onlookers she'd been so proud to attract with the show, had already bolted.

"W-what do I do?" she asked. Ikkaku coughed, his body shuddering and she rolled him over so he wouldn't gag on his own blood.

Matsumoto put a hand on her shoulder, summoning a hell butterfly to send to the fourth. As the insect flew away, Rukia felt Rangiku kneel next to her. They put their hands on the worst wounds, applying pressure to try and stop the bleeding.

Far away, a monstrous reiatsu flared up. Rukia barely heard the lieutenant trying to comfort her. "It's going to be ok."

Her heart pounded in her chest like she was a scared bunny. She'd never considered herself a coward but, as she felt that reiatsu closing in she contemplated running. She knew Ikkaku wouldn't say anything if he survived. If he survived... no she couldn't leave. Sweat ran down her back, then she felt another familiar reiatsu approaching as well, less noticeable but faster. Relief flowed through her. Followed by stark terror as she realized her situation. Maybe running wasn't that bad an idea. She pressed her shaking hands against the wounds, Matsumoto calmly assisting.

She quietly prayed for the wounds to close, to stop bleeding, to have the courage she needed to not bolt when the reiatsus converged on her. Trying not to think of what would happen after they did. Dread and fear pumping through her veins, quickening her pulse again.

 _No_ , she told herself, _focus, Kuchiki._ And so she poured her energy into closing the wounds. Because _all_ she wanted in those moments was for the bleeding to stop and for Ikkaku to live.

She could hear them as they stopped around her, voices rising until she didn't know who to listen to.

"Rukia, tell me what happened."

"The fuck's going on?"

"Captain Zaraki, you are not helping."

"Hell wit' that! I wanna know why one of my boys is bleeding the fuck out!"

Then a new voice spoke up. "Taicho, let Unohana-Taicho do her work. It's the only way to help Ikkaku right now."

Rukia didn't even notice the tears in her eyes as Unohana appeared in front of her and the words around her became heated.

"Shut it, Yumichika."

"You shut it, Zaraki! That's my man lying there and I'll be damned if I let you interfere with his healing!"

Rukia felt numb, standing there useless now. She registered dull surprise both to hear Yumichika argue with his fearsome captain and to hear his voice shake slightly doing so. She'd never thought he cared about anything but himself.

"Ayasagawa stand down. Insubordination aside he is right."

"This ain't any of your fucking business."

"It is if something is preventing a shinigami from receiving proper medical attention." While the argument was going on Yumichika came into her field of vision, inching forward. Trying to stay out of the way but, obviously desperate to be at his friend's side

She felt Matsumoto hug her, trying to comfort her, but right now it just made her feel worse. She stared down at Unohana working on Ikkaku, seeing the almost invisible lines of strain around the blue eyes. Could the healer captain save him? She prayed so, because she couldn't handle being responsible for another Soul Reaper's death.

She turned away instinctively, tears of regret and self-recrimination in her eyes. And found herself staring at Zaraki-taichou, anger suffusing his reiatsu glaring at her and her brother, expressionless as ever. The 'disappointed, controlled fury' kind of expressionless not the 'it's not worth my time to acknowledge your existence' kind. She didn't how she could tell but to her it was obvious. He fear came flooding back. She wondered if she should hope that her brother protected her from the demon or if it would be better to just let the captain kill her. It'd probably be quicker and less painful that way. She gave a little hysterical giggle at the absurdity.

Her hysteria was promptly noticed. Byakuya's eyes narrowed further, and captain Zaraki looked even more pissed. He snarled at her, "The fuck's funny 'bout this?" She shook her head, desperate for an answer.

"I... I don't ..."

Unohana's voice rose up. "She is likely hysterical, gentlemen. That causes the most inappropriate reactions."

Rukia suddenly wished Renji was here to shield her from the judgement and anger.

She knew Renji would protect her if he were here. But he wasn't. She was on her own. Trying not to fall apart or just start cackling like a mad woman in the face of the wrath of captain Zaraki.

"I don' give a shit," he snarled, "She nearly killed him!"

Rukia swallowed. Hands still shaking. However they were going to punish her for this, she just wished they'd do it quickly. She knew Byakuya was disappointed in her for cracking up. Because he'd said, often, how shinigami were meant to be composed at all times.

Gods, she really was a failure.

Even worse, captain Unohana was still working on the bald, unconscious man. She wasn't declaring him ok. Rukia trembled harder at the sight of Yumi kneeling in the bloody mud next to Unohana, eyes shining as he whispered to the wounded warrior.

Kenpachi stepped closer, and she shamefully cowered away from the demon.

To her surprise, Byakuya stepped between them. For an instant, she felt as if she'd been saved. Then a thought occurred to her, one that made her stomach drop.

Maybe the noble intended to punish her himself.

"She is a member of my clan. I will deal with it," he said his tone surprisingly gentle. Rukia was aware she was missing something but, her stupid brain wouldn't kick into gear.

"You think I'm scared of you?" the other captain laughed though there was something off about that too.

"That is not my concern. I will deal with it," Byakuya replied and this time his voice was cold as ever and she could feel it seep into her marrow. No this was definitely not salvation.

"Rukia?" Byakuya asked her. She flinched at his calm voice. She was sure the softness in his voice, the quietness of it, was only to disguise the wrath and disappointment he felt... Wasn't it? Once again she had the feeling she wasn't clicking onto something, but couldn't be sure.

"Yes, nii-sama?"

"Will you please tell us what happened?"

"W-well you see... Third seat Madarame r-really wanted t-to spar against a ice zanpakuto," Rukia began, careful to use proper forms of address in front of her brother. "I thought he'd be a good opponent... I've never sparred with anyone that high before. H-he told me not to hold back so..." she gestured helplessly lip quivering. Zaraki began laughing. She flinched but, when she looked up she saw Zaraki seemed genuinely amused and her brother was looking at her his eyes surprisingly soft.

That threw Rukia off more than anything. "We-well... um... I di-didn't. And... well..."

She let her gaze drop to Ikkaku, who was still being healed by Captain Unohana. "This happened." she added quietly.

A moment of silence came and went, and Rukia stood waiting for some reaction, any reaction, from anybody.

"Rukia..." Byakuya said softly, but what he was going to say was interrupted by Zaraki bursting out in a loud cackle of amusement.

She felt like she was __definitely__ missing something now, especially with Kenpachi's insane-sounding laughter. The tall warrior gestured towards his third-seat. "O' course he didn' want ya to hold back; kinda the motto o' the eleventh. But you're supposed to hold back in sparring, at least a little. Otherwise I wouldn' have a squad. Neither would princess Kuchiki here."

Byakuya didn't dignify that with a response, still looking at her with startling gentleness.

Just then, a loud groan brought all attention to where Ikkaku was laying. "Uggh, the ice." he mumbled, shifting in place.

Unohana smiled as she continued pouring healing energy into him. "He's going to be alright. The worst damage is repaired."

Rukia breathed a sigh of relief, shared by Rangiku and Yumichika.

"Perhaps if third seat Madarame had been better prepared," Byakuya said his tone was haughty, but Rukia thought with a flutter in her heart that there was a note of pride.

Zaraki nodded as though considering, "I should find out who trained her. Must be sumthin' special to overcome Kuchiki softness." Byakuya blinked.

"The fuck?" Ikkaku asked. Zaraki grabbed him by the collar and tossed him a few feet in general direction of the barracks, earning a glare from Unohana-taichou.

Rukia felt a tentative relief blooming in her chest that Ikkaku was ok and nobody seemed real mad at her anymore. Kenpachi, ignoring Unohana, strode away after Ikkaku, going on about how the third seat was gonna train to his limit...as soon as he was better.

She turned to Byakuya, bowing low in a greeting that had been delayed by the seriousness of the situation.

"Nii-sama," she said voice low and composed now in deference to her adopted brother. "My apologies for today. Things seemed to have gotten out of hand."

Byakuya kept his gaze upon her, eyes soft. "You have nothing to apologize for, Rukia. You have done well today. You bested an officer higher ranking than you. You should be proud."

She could have cried in relief at the understated praise and swallowed hard not willing to show weakness to her stoic brother, "Thank you nii-sama," she said roughly.

Unohana came up behind her and she started as the healer put a hand on her shoulder, "Don't worry, he'll be okay," she said gently, approval in her secretive smile.


End file.
